Before he left Friendlytown for greener pastures (Ft. Collins, specifically, because they have hella legal weed there; his words, not ours), local troubadour and performing regular Alex Linton decided he wanted to leave our community with an anthem we could call our own. One we could force all of our athletes to awkwardly stand for before sporting events! One we could teach the next generations to love our town through. So, Alex brought us together for a special meeting where some members of our city council (like, one or two with musical talent) proposed that big patriotic (in the Friendlytown sense, at least) overture. It went as well as you’d think.
It’s been a while, but our good friend (and frequent Mayor/Boss/HR Guy) Shane Rhyne is finally back with his own brand of comedy mayhem “SPELLBound” – a comedic spelling bee of epic proportions! One by one, he has challenged members of the Friendlytown City Council to spell amazing new words that are really real and totally not made up at all, with etymologies and uses in sentences and all that stuff those Scripps kids are so good at. The biggest winner was our collective vocabulary!
Look- we as the Friendlytown City Council know that it’s unbecoming (for lack of a better term… trust us, we choose our words carefully) to have budget, uh, shortfalls, as often as we do. But TRUST US – we’ve got a plan for a solid way to tighten our belts and get us back on our feet as a fair community. All it requires is that you KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. You’ll be fine, really, it’ll all be fine. Foolproof. Just run with it.
Teenagers of Friendlytown: What you’re going through may be disorienting, but it’s normal. Trust us; we all went through the same thing with our bodies and our minds. The world can be a cruel place, too, and all that. Listen, we don’t have enough prisoners to do a “scared straight” kind of program, so we’re all just going to volunteer our time to make these moments count for you youngsters. As Mayor Tyler once saw an old off-kilter man on the DC Metro outside of Silver Spring advise a couple of teenagers, “Don’t Fuck Around; Be Around!”
In honor of actual veterans who fought in actual wars, we here in Friendlytown decided to recount some stories of the numerous skirmishes (not legally compoundable to “wars”) that Friendlytown has been involved in. Who could forget that one skirmish with all of the fast food franchises? And that other one? Yeah, you know? Of course you do. You wouldn’t be a true Friendlytown citizen if you didn’t.
When we founded our community, we just assumed everything would operate on the honor system. Shockingly, this has not worked out as we expected. That’s why we brought in our very first anti-nonsense celebrity judge, Judge Shane!!! Our citizens stood as defendants on the most heinous misdemeanors and pleaded their cases. Then our audience-jury decided who went free and who has to serve time or pay some kind of fine. These punks learned some valuable lessons!
For Part 3 of our Friendlytown Ecological Series, we’ve decided to try out a Mad Scientists for the community. You know, one with ZAZ. One with a vision. Tune in and hear some of the proposals we got from some of the best Mad Scientists from all over the area.