This week, we were visited by the very wealthy, important, and black-wearing smartphone mogul Stevia Jobs. She was very patient with our city council members, as we presented ideas for the next big thing in Phone apps. She did not approve of any of them, and then she hid, onstage, for the last 5 minutes of the show. It was great.
The Goblins – tough, self-made, multi-millionaire and billionaire tycoons – continue their search to invest in the best businesses and products that Friendlytown has to offer. The Goblins will once again give people from all walks of life the chance to chase the American dream and potentially secure business deals that could make them millionaires.
The Goblins are billionaires Harnald Gravvsund, world famous explorer, cartographer and builder of fine ships; dog taxidermy mogul Ethel Mord; and legendary adult film actor and producer Jank Plowgood.
The Friendlytown Piss Goblins football team are in a bad way this season! And the only solution we’ve found is, no matter how much money it costs our city, to blame everything on the overpaid coach and fire him! So, we need a new one. Time for open auditions, or at least a forum for our townspeople to submit ideas for who or what will bring the Pissgoblins back to their 1998 glory! OH WHY CAN’T IT BE 1998 AGAIN WHY
FRI3NDLYT0WN N33D5 TO G3T R1D 0F ALL TH3S3 D4MN SP4M M3SSAG35. 0UR S3RV3RS 4R3 CL0GG3D AND 0UR T0WN5P30PL3 CAN’T G3T THR0UGH 2 US. Boy, I sure hope iTunes doesn’t put this in some other font that makes that unreadable! Anyway, we called in some IT experts to help us, but there is a lot of Spam for us to get through, and it’s pretty off-putting.
Everything Thanksgiving here in Friendlytown, we get together at Friendlytown Hall to tell the people just what we’re thankful for. Our chief Thanksgiver, Saint Thomas, took the helm this go-round. Want to know what we’re thankful for? Like, REALLY thankful? Then tune in you silly goose!
Our local Pagemaster, Jaxx, takes the reigns for this, the premiere meeting of the Friendlytown Book Club! One by one, we get to chat about some super meaningful books that Jaxx handed to us as we got onstage. In some cases, like that of Dissenting Mayor Pamela, people came prepared with their own insane books to discuss. This was a great night. Enjoy listening to us philosophize our way through this one.
Does anyone in our fair community know who really crimed that murder? Was some lonely hustler hustlin’ that hustle on the side of the hooch swabblers in the ram tam wham bam thank you ma’am? Thankfully, Flint Chumley, voted Friendlytown’s #4 most boozy yet #1 most shadow-drenched detective, is on the case. He’s going to share those seductive tales about the underbelly of our town that THE MAN (Mayor Tyler, probably) doesn’t want you to know. We are through the looking glass, every one is a suspect, and I could swear that Bartending Mayor Todd overcharged me for that last Mickey’s.