Look- we as the Friendlytown City Council know that it’s unbecoming (for lack of a better term… trust us, we choose our words carefully) to have budget, uh, shortfalls, as often as we do. But TRUST US – we’ve got a plan for a solid way to tighten our belts and get us back on our feet as a fair community. All it requires is that you KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. You’ll be fine, really, it’ll all be fine. Foolproof. Just run with it.
Teenagers of Friendlytown: What you’re going through may be disorienting, but it’s normal. Trust us; we all went through the same thing with our bodies and our minds. The world can be a cruel place, too, and all that. Listen, we don’t have enough prisoners to do a “scared straight” kind of program, so we’re all just going to volunteer our time to make these moments count for you youngsters. As Mayor Tyler once saw an old off-kilter man on the DC Metro outside of Silver Spring advise a couple of teenagers, “Don’t Fuck Around; Be Around!”